Poem-The Garden of Delight by Ana Shekinah

Poem-The Garden of Delight

by Ana Shekinah

 

I woke up the morning after lover

wet with your dew

and my freshly fertile fluid

like a fresh damp garden bed in spring

 

My body and heart

like the dark soil yearning

for the seed of understanding

and illumination

 

After making love in the dark for so long

seeing your face is orgasmic

the face of my lover

my Beloved

shining below me like the dark sun

radiating heat into me

 

I feel the earth moving through you

making love to me

I’m caught in a web of pleasure

and there is nowhere else i would rather be

than to be food for my lover

Sacred Food at the Sacred Feast

for your lips that are full and engulf me

 

Your body which is so comforting

it is the body of a strong Mayan warrior

who could carry me if need be

 

I want to surrender

to your insistent urgency

your powerful immediacy

I like the way you bite me

and playfully hold me down

I like to struggle and give in

I like to LET you win

and i like to feel my power to say yes and no

and slow down lover

and i like to feel you push

against my resistance

and let you in and in and

inside me deeply

until i am so full of pleasure

i cant see straight or think straight anymore

and all i know is the warm comfort of your dark body

that seems to stretch on endlessly around me

touching the landscape of my soul

 

And just hold me lover

Here with nowhere to go

Just breath with me

and be with me

so full and full and full

letting go

of my fears of this

letting go of all i think i know

embracing my smallness

in the face of all this Mystery

 

We stand together at the threshold

an Altar

What seeds shall we plant

in our garden of pleasure

our soil of delight

our canvas of desire

What would you like to create with me

with all this passionate energy

 

Tell me your desires

I would like to grant them

like a wish fulfilling genie

Your pleasure is my delight

Your satisfaction my deep sigh

 

Let it rain blessings on us

so that all of our secret heart’s whisperings

may become a thriving garden of delight

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Why being a Tantric Sexual Priestess can be really irritating…

Generally my blogs probably sound a bit glamorous. They are for me anyway and generally fun. Otherwise i wouldn’t do what i do. I got into this for fun and sex, etc. However, i don’t want to mislead anyone. There is a big down side too. First of all you must have been through the proper initiations to do what i do. Otherwise you would probably experience a lot of trauma and not have much fun. This is part of my healing path and genuine for me. I’m on a fiery path of sexual empowerment and i have lots of protection from multiple lineages and such. I’m a trailblazer and i am blazing a trail for you, each one of you.

That said this work is not always glamorous. I generally write about the good experiences i have since i enjoy savoring them and tasting them twice. The bad ones i generally don’t write about since they are not memorable to me. If they were traumatic then i would have a reason to write but they are just kind of blah, yucky and not fun, so not something i want to write about.

My experiences seem to come in waves. Ill be really busy for a week or two and then nothing. Around the holidays and tax time i went for over a month with nothing. It can be such a test to keep your faith and not lower your standards. Luckily i have a wonderful temple priest who takes care of me so i never feel pressure to do anything i don’t want to do. That is the best way.

Still during these times potential patrons would call and waste my time. They would schedule and then back out at the last minute sometimes without so much as a note. My boundaries get firmer and i become more savvy when this happens but not without irritation.

Last week a very well spoken Asian man scheduled with me. He said he had already been through my screening and although i believed him i insisted on re-screening him. I contacted his references the day before our session was scheduled. I was on the beach doing my practice when i received a message saying “Noooooooooo! Don’t see him. He is not from Denver. He is lying. He is from the bay area and he has been blacklisted here and in Colorado. His behavior has been escalating from verbal abuse and last week he actually forced himself on a woman without protection. I have seen him before and haven’t had a problem myself but i will never see him again.” She sent me a link to an online site where he had been blacklisted. Sure enough the postings were foreboding and described his abuse escalating to blatant rape. I felt for the woman who had been raped who sounded like she was in such a daze that she almost didn’t even realize she had been raped. She said she would never see him again. Personally, i would have done my best to have him locked up.

I wanted to give him a piece of my mind but my partner priest convinced me that for my own safety i should just tell him i came down with the flu. Since he is usually smarter about these things that is exactly what i did. However, this perpetrator did not give up. He wanted to see me even though i was sick! He harassed me with e-mails and phone calls and didn’t seem to stop when i told him id be out of town and then i stopped responding to his insistent messages altogether.

In the meantime the other reference got back to me with one word “safe.” I shared with her the information that had been passed onto me.

If he didn’t stop harassing me we joked that i should tell him that when I was sick spirits came to me and told me that we were a really bad match or perhaps i should tell him i did the numerology of our names and we are definitely not meant for each other. The strange thing is that he said he had tried to see me twice previously and it had never worked out for one reason or another. Thank you spirits for protecting me!

The moral of the story? Always screen. And keep the faith. Never lower your standards.

Initiation by Blood

He was polite and formal on the phone. I had just started bleeding and had been desirous for days of a man to really help me get my flow going. I was determined to start bleeding with the dark moon and here it was the day after a Pisces new moon. My bleeding had previously been aligned with the full moon since i started my tantric sexual priestess work. Since a woman’s moon time is her most powerfully tantric time it made sense but was causing problems. The full moon is the busiest time of the month, the time when animals and humans desire to mate. I wasn’t getting any rest on my bleeding days. I was so physically exhausted i had had to turn away my favorite patron. I was worried it was effecting my health to work so much on my heaviest days instead of resting.

At first i hadn’t been sure how i would work at all on my moon with how much i bleed. But then i remembered one of my girlfriends back when i dated women had used a natural sponge instead of tampons to be environmentally friendly. It seemed that this would work better then a cup for this type of activity. Sponges are softer. She had sown dental floss onto it to pull it out. However, after some experimentation i decided it worked better for my purposes minus the floss. The sponge has to be small, the size of a golf ball, and wet so it is soft to put in. Every so often you can take it out and wring out the blood and reinsert it. Such a handy thing to know about. Thank you Tracey! It had worked before several times only leaking a small amount of blood even with major pounding.

I had been setting the intention for a while, very clearly for the last month to flip my schedule around so i ovulated with the full moon and bled with the new moon as is traditional for women. This would work better for aligning my energy levels with my work schedule since when I’m ovulating i have the most energy and sexual interest and when i’m bleeding i have the least energy. I had accomplished aligning my moon time with the moon when i was in my early 20’s, actually when i was dating Tracey. I had read about how women traditionally bled in sync with the moon and i went out and moon bathed every night and prayed to the moon to align my cycle with hers and Bam! I was bleeding with the new moon and ovulating with the full moon.

This time i just set the intention clearly. I kept forgetting to moon bath and pray to the moon and still my bleeding aligned within only one cycle. Wow, our body responds powerfully to our intentions i thought.

So i had just started bleeding and a famous hockey player called me and asked me to come to the Fairmont Hotel in San Jose. He was only 32, younger then me, and had his own Wikipedia page. His photo was really nice looking and apparently he was a millionaire since he had been signed to multiple multimillione dollar contracts. He said he had seen several tantricas previously and gave a reference for a high end gorgeous Japanese tantrica in New York City who had photos of herself on her website on ballet point shoes. She who wrote back immediately with a stellar reference saying he was “the best of the best in every sense.” So i was excited for multiple reasons. I hadn’t had a session in weeks or even a lover in about a week and my desire always spikes right before i bleed.

I was all dressed up in my usual attire. My makeup was perfect and i was actually on time for once. I had my big fuzzy coat wrapped around me as i walked in past the bell hops and the front desk. I went to the bathroom, texted him and then headed up to the ninth floor. Once there i saw that the numbers didn’t go up as high as the one he had given me. He must be on another floor or something i thought. I texted him and asked him to meet me at the elevator. Sure enough he was at a different one. For a moment we thought we might be at different hotels. I was panicky because now i was actually late even though i had been on time. Then he called to tell me he was actually in a different building, wing B.

The Fairmont is such a maze. Ive only been there a few times but i always get lost looking for the bathroom. After trying several times unsuccessfully to find wing B i finally had to go outside and across the street to find a locked door with sketchy people hanging around it. This would not normally be such a big deal but i was in high heels all made up with a huge bag in addition to my large purse. My work bag, which is a medium size piece of luggage has all the props i might need in it including tonight a glass bottle of Pellegrino. Lugging this around in heels up and down staircases and all around a huge hotel like the Fairmont is no small feat. By the time a nice man let me in the building i was exhausted and sweaty. I collapsed on the love seat in front of the elevators and called up R to come down and get me since the elevators required a room key.

This was obviously the fancy building for semi-celebrities like R. There was a huge crystal chandelier and a grand sweeping staircase. I straightened my tight red dress and tried to look relaxed. When R arrived i was immediately struck by how gorgeous he was and how tall. He had dark wavy hair and bright blue eyes. He was more slender and tall and younger looking then in the photo i had seen of him. I couldn’t help staring at him for a moment as we rode the elevator up with several other people. He looked straight ahead and i followed his lead.

As soon as we were alone he told me i looked really beautiful. “So are you!” i gushed. I asked him to put on music because i had forgotten my i-pod at home. He pulled up stations on the TV and asked me what i wanted to hear. I picked the World channel but i had to interrupt our initial tantra practices because they kept playing mariachi music. I asked him if he wanted an energizing experience or relaxing. He said relaxing. The mariachi music was anything but relaxing. We tried Classical and finally settled on New Age which actually was mostly relaxing except for the weird experimental stuff.

He pulled me onto the bed and kissed me so gently it made me want more and initiate with my tongue. Then wonder if i was being too aggressive. I had already decided before i got there that i was going to kiss him but not go down on him without a condom. I told him to stand up with me and i undressed him. I did some tantric meditation with him and looked into his eyes and we breathed together. His eyes were dark blue on the outside and light blue on the inside. He felt emotional to me, deep and passionate. He was definitely my type. We kissed more and after i undressed and he touched me and his touch sent shivers of ecstacy through my body.

He was so beautiful. His face and body like chiseled stone. He was tall and lean and muscular the way i like, my type. His coloring was my favorite, dark with light eyes. His cock was large and very erect and swung to the left side like my first boyfriend. I wanted to ask him what he had in his background genetically. What gives a person such dark hair and light eyes? But i didn’t. I pressed his cock against my belly and felt it’s warmth on my womb. Then i turned around and pressed his cock against the small of my back as he cupped my breasts. As i took off my heels i could see and feel how much larger he was then me which always feels exciting.

I asked him to lay down on the bed and i touched and kissed his body. I even licked his nipples which i don’t usually do in session and i bit his shoulder. Our kisses became more passionate although still tender. He grabbed my breasts and kissed them and grabbed my bottom. I told him that i liked how tender he was with me but that he could be a little rough too and i would probably like that. His cock was against my belly so close to my vulva. My desire was so strong for him and i craved for a moment to feel him inside me without a condom although i wouldn’t do that. I asked him if he wanted me to massage him or if he just wanted to devour me first. He said he wanted to devour me. I asked if he was ready for me to take my panties off and he said yes so i sat up, took them off and layed next to him. We continued kissing and he touched my vulva. I was very wet and he was able to finger me which almost immediately made me feel very close to orgasm. I made lots of high pitched sounds.

I was so turned on i was overcome with desire to feel his huge cock in my mouth. I asked him if he had been with many escorts since i thought i was perhaps the only one. He said “not really” which wasn’t very comforting but i went down on him anyway. He looked and felt perfectly healthy to me. When i’m bleeding i become more sensual and just adore sucking cock. He was such a perfect specimen too. I thought that if i had met him at a bar and gone home with him i would definitely want to go down on him. Not that i have ever done that. Ive actually never met a man at a bar but if i were going to pick a man up like that i would hope they looked like R. So for the first time in my short career as a tantric sexual priestess i went down on a man purely because i wanted to, for my own pleasure and desire. I licked him and sucked on his perfect balls and i rubbed him on my lips and teased him and then sucked on him and went down as far as i could. He didn’t taste like anything which was good to me. I didn’t taste any pre-cum.

When i came up i asked him if he would like me to continue or to put on a condom. He asked me to put on a condom. I grabbed the large one i had put on the bottom of the nightstand and after licking him a little more i put it on along with a lot of lube. I began rubbing myself against him and told him he had to go slow because i really wanted to enjoy him. We kissed for a while while he touched and kissed my breasts and touched and grabbed my bottom while i rubbed him against my vulva and took my time putting him inside me. When he finally slid in i gasped in pleasure. He was so big and felt so good. I had to make sounds in order to take him in it was so intense. It felt so good i felt like i could orgasm.

He said he wanted to be on top and he rolled us over while he managed to stay inside me so gracefully. He started pounding into me really hard and deep and although it felt good it was a little too deep. That is when i kind of lost control of the experience completely overcome by his passion to devour me. He put one of my little feet up on his shoulder and pounded into me. The position was a little awkward and a little too deep. I should have told him not to go so deep yet, i wasn’t warmed up enough yet, but i was still feeling a bit shy. I tried to stop him to put my other foot on his shoulder so that he could hit my g-spot but when i did that he looked down and said that i had poured out blood. We stopped for a moment and i looked down to see a puddle of bright red blood on the white sheets. “It’s just blood” i said “why don’t you take me from behind” I suggested trying to distract him. It worked for a minute or two but i was afraid he was going to cum like that and i still wanted to cum so i asked him if i could be on top again. He said there is just too much blood and we had to stop since he didn’t want to destroy the hotel room. He pulled out of me with his cock covered in blood and we went in to the shower.

He looked shocked and horrified. I said i was embarrest as i thought that was the appropriate thing to say. I tried to make light of the situation and said that i’m sure i wasn’t the first one at the hotel to bleed on the sheets. He wasn’t smiling. After we came out of the bathroom we assessed the damage. It was pretty bad. Not only was there a puddle of blood but bright red blood was splattered all around the white sheets. He layed a towel down. I grabbed another towel and layed it down. “They can get you new sheets” I said hopefully. “Yeah but your not the one who has to ask for them,” he said resentfully. He seemed upset, disappointed i sensed. I had to think of a way to salvage the session. We had been having such a great time and his mood had changed dramatically. He was very somber.

I asked if he wanted to try again and he said “No that is definitely enough of that.” I felt a little disappointment but sat down in front of him and said “well this was fun,” putting his semi-hard cock in my mouth. It didn’t seem to be getting any harder so i layed him down. I looked at the situation as a good opportunity to practice my oral sex technique which i actually don’t get to practice often enough. I don’t do it much in sessions and my lovers don’t seem to like it much which has made me wonder if i’m just bad at it and need lots of practice. It’s just one of those things i can’t really get myself to do though unless i’m really into it. I have to really feel inspired to worship a man to get into it. Luckily i felt inspired to worship this man.

Between my mouth and hands i pleasured him for a long time. He made sounds to let me know when i was getting him close to orgasm. I wasn’t too worried about him coming in my mouth since i can tell when a man is getting close like clockwork now but i did say to him to let me know when he is getting going to cum since i want him to cum all over my breasts. As he was getting closer to get him to go over the edge i had to get really into it energetically moving and making sounds myself. He told me twice he was cumming before i took him out of my mouth and rubbed his cock and cum all over my breasts. I even took the large dollop that had landed on his belly and rubbed in on me. He might have thought i was strange to want his cum on me like this but I’m a White Tigress and consider cum a magical fluid with hormones i want and need to keep me young and vibrant. A young healthy man’s cum is like gold to me.

I collapsed on his belly and lay there for a long time telling him to breath in the experience and relax into it. I breathed in the energy from his orgasm and lay there as long as i felt i could get away with before i went and got a warm wash cloth to wash us both up. I told him that was fun for me since i don’t get a chance to do that often. “Really,” he said sarcastically as if he didn’t believe me. I asked him if he wanted a massage and he said yes and i massaged him for about a half hour. At the end of the massage i did some energy work on him putting protection around him and asking the Goddess to protect this one. I thought it was getting really late so i ended the massage and got up to get dressed. I told him he could lie there for as long as he liked. I went into the bathroom to wash my hands and when i came out he was still lying there. He looked dead laying naked surrounded by blood splattered on the white sheets of a hotel bed. It was a bit eerie and a bit funny.

As i got dressed he got up and checked his phone and called the front desk to ask for new sheets. He joked that he would have to tell them that he cut his leg but then decided that they probably wouldn’t ask any questions. “Your a good boy,” I said “you don’t get drunk and destroy hotel rooms i take it.” “Well at least you won’t forget this session anytime soon,” I joked.  I suddenly didn’t know what to say. I had wanted to ask him so many things during the session and now he seemed so distracted and far away checking his phone. I caught his eyes and looked at him straight in the eyes for the first time possibly since the bleeding incident. “When i visit North Carolina can I contact you?” “Sure,” he said, “i would like that. I mean i might not answer but you can leave a message…” He walked me to the door and we said a quick goodbye. “Have a great game” I said as i walked out the door and into the hallway a little disoriented.

It was actually earlier then i thought, a little over two and a half hours had passed since i had arrived. I called my partner and driver to pick me up. As i went back down to the lobby i thought that he hadn’t kissed me since the blood incident. It felt like the mood and magic had been broken and i was just doing my best to salvage the session and make sure he had a good experience. I think i had done a stellar job considering everything. I really liked him. I was still swooning over him. When i got in the car with my partner i told him i was in love and then told him about the session on the drive home.

My partner is clairvoyant and when i told him that the bright red blood on the white sheets reminded me of blood on the ice and that i thought perhaps covering him with moon blood was a way to protect him from something worse happening on the ice he agreed. I thought about the experience fondly as i went to sleep that night and woke up in the morning craving R. I sent him a text that read,

“Wow, such an intense experience with you in many ways. That has never happened before with a client. In tantra moon blood is initiatory and healing and magical. My clairvoyant sense is that the Goddess is protecting you from something worse happening to you on the ice.”

He sent back a short, polite, formal text and my partner who is also my diplomat consultant suggested i not write back. I was hoping to see R when i visit my family in North Carolina thinking he was the kind of man i would like to date. I got online and looked him up again and read that he had a wife and a daughter. His daughter is four years old. My heart sunk. Another married man that is the kind of man i would like to date but never seem to meet outside of my work. The vast majority of my clients are married and they are the kind of men i would like to be married to minus hiring escorts. Ive never even met men like this that i know of outside this work. I feel like i often have access to men doing high end companionship that i would never otherwise have access to. Are all the good family men married already? I can’t complain since im enjoying my life and my work but still i want more.

kamakhya yoni

The Garden Within

“The Garden Within is the sacred sanctuary where we reconnect with the Goddess, the deep Feminine, the underground source of female empowerment and expression. We were once deeply rooted in that place, expressing power and sexuality from there without any splitting. We were snake and bird, earth and spirit, body and sky. We could invite the male into that place for an encounter, and he came.” Vicki Noble

Dakini Invocation Poem by Ana Shekinah- Tantric Sexual Priestess

   Daughters of The Great Goddess

Divine and Cosmic Mother, Isis, Freya, Durga, Magdalene

Hathor beings from the source of other worldly pleasures and Amrita waterfalls

We call on the Grace of the Geisha

The Skill of the Tantrica

The Purity of the Deva-Dasi

The Warm Breath of the Dakini…

 

   Temple Priestesses tending the temple hearth

the fires of creativity, sacred sexuality, and love.

We have many names and faces

as we slip through the hourglass of time.

We are your sister, your mother, your daughter, your lover and friend…

 

   We are healers, ones who bring all things together,

Ones in whom all things connect and merge.

We offer ourselves to the sacred bonfire of passion

opening the door and whispering this way,

this way to wholeness, to fullness and pleasure,

Freedom through Fulfillment…

 

Now is the time.

The father’s reign is coming to an end

and the daughter who has been cast out comes home

to her sister, her temple, her throne.

She is cutting away regrets like dreads

lost to the distant past

her spirit growing stronger and her mind wise…

 

   She is setting the world on fire

and dancing while it burns around her.

She is so strong now nothing can touch her

except to kiss her hand.

She is Free! Blessed BE- Daughters of The Great Goddess~

In the afternoon by the ocean…

I knew i liked him as soon as i heard his voice over the phone. He said he had read over my website five times and never done anything like this before. Reading my website is no small feat. I’m a writer and it’s a lot for anyone to read and hardly anyone ever reads it unfortunately. Sometimes i wonder if men can still read. The ones who actually take the time to read what Ive written turn me on. I like intelligent men, nerdy guys.

He is a successful man from silicon valley, older but a surfer. He’s a real estate investor. He says he wants to meet at the nicest hotel nearby where i live. It’s right on the ocean and has one of my favorite restaurants in town inside it. I was happy not to have to drive to Silicon Valley on my moon.

We meet at the Aquarius at a table looking out over the ocean. It’s a perfect sunny day in the middle of winter and we are sitting partly in the sun. He is tall and handsome with grey hair and green eyes and glasses. Even though he is older i find him attractive. He tells me how nervous he is, how beautiful i look, and we order cocktails. He orders a very adult stiff drink with vodka and i order a tropical beachy drink. We salut to decadence on a Monday afternoon. He speaks French which i love and lived in France for three years. We talk about traveling and all the places we have been and wish to go. He tells me I’m even prettier then in my photos and says that he had been trying to get up the nerve to call me for weeks.

He asks me all about my life and how i got into tantra and i share honestly and openly with him. I’m excited to have someone show so much interest in me and what i’m passionate about. It’s wonderful to get to tell someone about my journey in tantra and how important it has been to me. Often i think clients don’t take my path as a tantrica seriously and i don’t usually talk about how important it is so me unless i am asked. Several of my clients are Indian men who seem to think Tantra is evil. I am not sure why the came to me to learn Tantra in the first place. I need to ask them.

At some point he tells me he is the son of a famous jazz musician from San Fransisco. In fact his whole family had been symphony musicians for generations. I ask him how he came to be a real estate investor in Silicon Valley with a father who is a jazz musician. He is obviously a self made man and i like that since i am a self made woman. He tells me the story of how his father left the symphony tradition to play jazz and even though he became very well known and successful was always poor and working all the time late nights and a functional alcoholic. He wanted his children to have a normal life and refused to teach them to play music at the great dismay of his parents who did not speak to him for ten years over insult to the tradition. So his son grew up to play basketball and speak french and invest in real estate and have four children. It’s stories like this that so endear me to certain men. The things i know about them that not many other people know.

We ate salads and he ordered a Rose. He made me promise not to tell his french friends that he had drank Rose in winter. It was just such a sunny day! We could only finish half of our salads we were so excited and eager. Before we went up to the room i brought him out to the beach with me and had him take off his shoes and put his feet in the sand. I took off my heels and walked on the warm sand. I asked him to close his eyes and feel the warm sand on his feet and breath and listen to the ocean. When he opened his eyes i encouraged him to take in the ocean horizon and to merge with it. Then i asked him if he wanted to head back up to the room or walk further on the beach. He wanted to head up so i lead him and he commented on how nice it was to walk behind me. At the top of the stairs he stopped on the last step so that we were the same height and pulled me to him to kiss me. I had already decided that i wanted to kiss him and so i surrendered to his refined and gentle kiss. After that i felt giddy from my crush and the kiss and i asked him if he was single as he had implied earlier that he was divorced. I was hoping he was but he said he wasn’t. We didn’t say anything else until we got to the room.

The room was the last one at the end of the hallway, a suite. Some men will spare no expense when it comes to the room. The decor was very bohemian with orange furniture and posters of 70’s musicians on one wall and a large picture of the ferris wheel nearby on the other. The view off the balcony was amazing overlooking the ocean. I turned to him and asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said no he was married. “Your second marriage then” I asked and he nodded. “Is it alright if i step out onto the balcony?” i asked aware that a married man could potentially have a detective following him paid for by his suspicious wife. He nodded again and said “Enjoy” opening his hand toward the balcony. We were high enough up that it seemed pretty safe and the view was glorious. A sunny winter’s day looking out over two beaches and vast ocean with the Boardwalk carnival in the distance. The sound of the ocean and seals and the faint hint of screams from the roller coasters could be heard in the distance.

He stepped out next to me and looked at me and said “I have no idea what is going to happen next.” “Well let’s begin” i replied stepping back inside, setting a few props next to the bed and closing the curtain halfway leaving half with just a thin white see through shade with light coming through it. I did my tantric practices with him for connecting and awakening the senses and sensations. I did a touch bath on him and then invited him to touch me. I liked his touch. It was light and sensual and sometimes firm. He gave my kriyas and i shuddered. His hands were large and so was his cock. It was the shape i most like mushrooming larger toward the tip. I thought how much i would like to feel it in my mouth. He kissed me a lot and i let him. I pushed him back on the bed and teased him. After a few minutes he said it was his turn and i obliged. He told me he wanted to taste me and i told him although i don’t usually include oral sex i wanted to make an exception for him. He was very good with his mouth and tongue and fingers. I mostly just wanted his mouth and tongue which i don’t get enough of in my work. I was starting to feel like i wanted to orgasm but then he stopped and pulled me up to where he was lounging to cuddle with him on the bed and talk.

“I hope i get to see you again”, he said. “I would love that” I replied enthusiastically blissed out. “I’m going to Mexico next month and id like to take you with me.” “That sounds wonderful,” I cooed.” “I’m nervous” he said, i probably won’t be able to fully have you today. I would love to though.” “That’s alright” I replied, “I don’t mind taking things slow.” Then i proceeded to kiss him from his lips and ears down to his nipples and balls and to lick and suck on his partly hard cock. This was the first time i had ever done that in this kind of context and the taste of him was odd and almost shocking. Even in it’s semi hard form his cock filled my mouth entirely which i like but it didn’t seem to be getting any harder and shortly he stopped me and pulled me up to him again. He asked me to do some massage on him. I felt embarrest that in my sexual enthusiasm for him i had almost completely forgotten to do my normal tantric practices including massage. The kissing and the oral sex had obviously gotten to me. I massaged him until he said it was his turn again and he massaged me with his large firm hands. When he had gotten my back side well enough i turned over and let him massage my front. Then he went down on me again until i got close to orgasm again. I told him he could probably make me cum if he kept going but he seemed to want to stop. ” How long can you stay he said?” The clock in the hotel was definitely wrong so i asked him to check the time for me on his phone. We were already at time and i told him that even though i didn’t want to rush out the door we should probably start winding down.

He asked me what i had to do after this and i said “Oh just projects” ambiguously. I asked him what he was planning to do after and he said he owned a beach house he needed to check on and that he would probably stay in the hotel room tonight. I told him if he really wanted me to i’d be willing to come back tonight. Then i asked him if he wanted to jump in the shower with me.

I was so delirious after getting up from the bed I got in the shower and started it with the door still open and water squirted everywhere hitting him and me and even outside the bathroom down the hallway. I was embarrest. We soaped each other and rinsed off. After we were out we got dressed and i touched up my makeup and packed up my things. It felt hard to leave. It felt like i was his lover and i was just supposed to stay and go to dinner with him and spend the night. I almost wanted to suggest it but it was our first time together and it had already been a lot. We probably both needed space to process what we had already received and anyway i figured if he wanted that he could ask. I had already offered to come back. “We should see each other again sometime,” he said. I thought to myself “I thought we were going to Mexico next month? Maybe he didn’t mean it. Maybe that’s just the kind of thing men say in the moment or maybe he’s a really good player and he knows just what to say to turn me on. “I hope to see you again soon,” I said sincerely. He grabbed me and kissed me one last time saying “You better go before i take your clothes off again.” I giggle and take myself in my red dress and black heels with my big red purse and piece of luggage out the door.

In the elevator i sigh feeling like i have such a crush on this guy its too bad he’s married. He’d be a catch, a real estate investor in Silicon Valley and attractive too. Of course he’s married.

I arrive home feeling rather disoriented as it is just starting to get dark. I’m starving as i was so excited i hardly ate anything for lunch and i worked up quite an appetite. Later that evening he texts me “Two words. Pretty spectacular!” We playfully text back and forth and then he tells me he is going to pleasure himself soon. I say “Ok be sensual and think of me and bring yourself to the edge several times before releasing.” “Darn several?” he relies. “Tantric self-pleasuring …” I say. “White Tantra…” He replies referring to our conversation over lunch about the difference between red and white tantra, white tantra being solo.

I tell my partner about my wonderful session today wondering if I’m any good at oral sex as it is not a skill i have studied or even done that much for that matter and then lay down to write…

Tonight i am a Birthday Present for Christ

What is the proper attire for a birthday present? I put on my best lingerie, a green Brazilian bra and panty set a client bought me. I put on the new black stockings with built in garter belt that i just bought on my last trip to the city at the french boutique. The stockings are silky and don’t have any runs yet. Perfect for a birthday present. Oops, i have to take it all off and put it back on since the panties go on the outside so that they can be taken off without taking off all the wrapping. I put on a black corset that laces up. I hope ill be able to breath tonight alright. I loosen it and it’s not very tight. Low black heels. My makeup is perfect and shiny. I wish i had time to take a photo but i have to rush out the door to get to my date on time.

My partner and attendant has the car ready for me. The address is in the GPS and the gas tank is full. I have a 45 min drive ahead of me. Once i am on the roadI say some prayers invoking my lineages, Ishtar and the sexual priestesses, the tantrics, the Devadasi and the Geishas, the courtesans. I also set the intention since it is only a few days till Christmas that i am a birthday present for Christ. Then  and i call my lover to tell him that i am a birthday present. He knows i have been looking forward to this day for a while with a mixture of anticipation and fear. A woman hired me to be the birthday present for her partner. She said she had been with a woman before and enjoyed it and wanted to be with a woman who could channel the sacred feminine for her and her partner. My specialty. She is the CEO of a tech company and beautiful. She sent me websites and social media of her and her partner. He is not bad looking either. Still i have not been with a woman in many years and am nervous about being with a couple. My lover tells me that i am going to make someone very lucky tonight and ends the call since i am almost there.

When i arrive at the gate i see the biggest house i have ever seen, a mansion. Fuck i say under my breath feeling even more intimidated. I call and they open the gate. Thank goodness i drove the jaguar and not the VW van. I get my things together and knock on the door and am greeted by a tall blonde goddess. She is wrapped in a skin tight short shiny lacy dress the color of shiny beige frosting.

She leads me into the expansive foyeur with a large chandelier and then to the large marble topped kitchen where she introduces me to her partner who is cooking dinner for us just as he turns over a large sizzling steak.  He is true to his photos a slightly overweight semi-attractive geeky type. We are all a bit awkward. They are both Australian and have interesting accents. She hands me an envelope with $2000 dollars in it and a beautiful card. She gives me a tour of the palace. Although it is grand it is mostly barren of personal effects. She explains that they have just moved to America from Australia less then a year ago and they work all the time at her start up company.

We sit down to a lovely home cooked dinner of steak and salad, exactly what i like to eat. The steak is the best cooked steak i have ever had and the tomatoes, avocados, pickled beets and goat cheese are all divine. She says that he can cook a perfect steak since he is from the outback. I ask him how to cook a perfect steak and then I ask them about their fears, desires, and boundaries are for the evening. I learn that she has gone through a difficult divorce with a man who cheated on her and hopes that this experience will be healing for her. Their accents are so strong it is hard to understand them when they are speaking to each other. He says that she has told him that i teach tantra and informs that he is mildly interested in learning but just wants to have a good time. I tell him “don’t worry i don’t force anyone to practice tantra” as i touch his arm which is only partly true. I am so enraptured by the meal that it is hard for me to listen or talk as fully and attentively as i am trying to. They seem eager to move forward into the session and so although i linger a little over the food soon i head upstairs to get things ready.

She pulls me aside and asks